My Love/Hate Relationship...With Running

Yes, you read that correctly. I have a love/hate relationship with running. What do I mean by that? Let me explain...

I LOVE the feeling I get AFTER I run. I feel invigorated, empowered, energized, and accomplished. I feel all of those things when I am nearing the last half of my third mile. It is what pushes me forward and helps me make it the last little bit with a little more speed than I had before. 

I HATE how hard it is to get myself out the door. I have to find the time to go running because it has to be when my husband is watching our daycare kids. It has to be a time when none of the parents that have to sign in and out of my phone will be arriving. It has to be good weather since the extreme cold makes it hard for me to breathe. Through all of that I have to MAKE myself do it because things come up, I get tired after a long day working with the kids, not feeling well because of sickness that the kids bring in, etc...I can always come up with excuses NOT to workout. 

I LOVE the results I get from running. Since I started running last June I have seen real change in my body. Not so much on the scale but in my clothes and in my face. Running helps my body be regular. I know that may sound gross to some, but that is just how it is. When I am NOT running I am more likely to be irregular. And I feel that being regular helps get the weight off instead of it staying on my body. I have a little ways to go when it comes to the size clothes I want to wear but at the same time, I feel wonderful about the clothes I am wearing. I went from a size 14 jeans and XL or L shirts to size 10 jeans and M tops and dresses. That is a BIG difference. And my face looks a lot different than it did just a year ago. 

I HATE how I have to fight my thoughts as I am running so that I keep on running instead of quitting. When I start out running I have to tell myself over and over again "I love running" and "I can do this". Because if I let my mind go elsewhere it will tell me "Maybe you can only make it one mile today" or "This is just too hard. You have eaten terrible this week so you just don't have it in you to make it three whole miles." But if I keep my thoughts held captive I can run my three miles and feel awesome afterwards. 

I LOVE how running releases all sorts of stresses and frustrations. Everyone's life has stress in it. Mine is no exception. Running helps those things seem a little less major than they did before my run. It is hard to be stressed or mad after a great run. It puts things into perspective. Plus, when I run I listen to praise and worship music. I spend time talking to the Lord through the songs I am listening to. That helps make all the stress and other mess go away. 

Do you see what I mean about love/hate? I often wonder if other runners feel that way, too. Do you? Despite the fact that I love AND hate running, I will keep running as long as I am able. My reasons are all the things I LOVE about running. They far outweigh the things I HATE.  

Changing my life one day at a time.