Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A Look Back At Some Questions

I intended to blog about a different subject today but that is going to have to take a back seat to another post that came to mind as I look at what I blogged about last year, which wasn't much. I found very little time to blog on any of my blogs last year and I feel terrible about that. Those blogs are all important to me. For 2013 I intend to make an effort to blog at least once a month on each blog. We will see how that goes.

On January 26 of last year I wrote a blog post titled Questions, Questions, So Many Questions. I had some pretty hard questions and I desired answers so badly. And while at the time of that post I didn't have any answers, I did have a Savior who's arms I ran into and felt safe and sure that HE knew all the answers and would show them to me in His time. I am so thankful for that. 

As I read back over the post I remember the anxiety I felt at first when I was writing it but then I also remember the calm that washed over me as I heard His voice whisper to me: 

"Be still and know that I AM God. Be patient and wait upon the MEMY timing is perfect. I know the plans I have for you, good plans."

Did my questions get answered right away? Not at all. But all of those questions were answered loud and clear. Let me share them with you.

The questions we had about the doors closing for overseas were answered by a process of happenings. First out apartment church changed locations. Another group was moved to our old one and we joined our team at another location that they had been teaching for years at a different time. We went there for many months on Sunday's. Then someone donated a church building to Mission Arlington. We moved our very large congregation into that building in August of 2012. We not only meet on Sunday mornings but on Wednesday nights, too. John started teaching ESL on Monday nights there in September. We have a very large congregation. This was God's answer to why the doors closed to going overseas. It took a year for us to understand His plan but it was His timing, not ours. 

I am a very impatient person. I want things now and I want answers now. God doesn't work that way. But He continues to try to teach me the lesson of HIS timing not mine through every aspect of my life. Maybe one day I will actually get it.

I started working on remodeling the daycare during the late summer to fall of 2011. It was great in a way because we started from almost scratch since we had sold so much the year before when we were preparing to go overseas to live as cross cultural workers drilling water wells for people in need. I got to do some of the things with my preschool that I didn't do before, like a special reading area for the kids. It takes a LOT of time to get a daycare started up, even if you have done it for years and years. There is still a process to go through. All through that process I did everything I could to prepare. But when I was actually OPEN and no kids were here yet, it was a big let down for me. Satan uses moments like that to get me and make me doubt. I doubted the reasons for reopening. I thought maybe that wasn't what God wanted me to do, that I had heard Him wrong.

That didn't mean I stopped working on things. I found a great place to get a FREE website and worked on that for awhile until I could afford to purchase it and get my own web address. It is a really well done website and I am proud of the work I have put into it. I continue to update it monthly. I worked hours on finding ways to get my name out there and still continue to put time into that when needed.

Little by little, the kids came. John and I started talking seriously about him leaving his job and working with me when we had enough income for him to do it. It seemed more like a dream than a reality. But as May approached and we had several children in our care then it seemed possible. He came home from work one day and told me he had put in his two weeks notice. I almost fainted. The beginning of June was the beginning of a new adventure for our family. He started working full time at home. It took some adjustment and we are still adjusting in many ways.

As the summer passed in a blaze of busyness and fall approached we became focused on filling the remainder of our spots. It wasn't long before that happened. We have been able to pay off much of our debt and even make a few new purchases. In October we were able to buy a Jeep. It is really John's Jeep but we enjoy it as a family. We spend family time together on the weekends because we work hard at home all week long. It is so worth every minute. Our family is together and we are getting the bills paid without my husband spending 80 plus hours away from home.

My advice to you if you have questions about your life and your future is simple. Be still and know that He is God. Give it to Him and let Him show you the timing. Keep working towards the goals because those things must be done. Keep your eye on Him. His timing is perfect.

I can't wait to see all that He does in our lives in this new year. Do I still have questions? If you know me, you KNOW I do. I have lots of them. But after the amazing ride this last year has been I am looking forward to seeing how God shows me the answers instead of being uneasy about things. May God bless you all in the new year with peace that passes all understanding. That is a great gift to be given. 

Until next time...blessings to you.