My Love/Hate Relationship...With Running

Yes, you read that correctly. I have a love/hate relationship with running. What do I mean by that? Let me explain...

I LOVE the feeling I get AFTER I run. I feel invigorated, empowered, energized, and accomplished. I feel all of those things when I am nearing the last half of my third mile. It is what pushes me forward and helps me make it the last little bit with a little more speed than I had before. 

I HATE how hard it is to get myself out the door. I have to find the time to go running because it has to be when my husband is watching our daycare kids. It has to be a time when none of the parents that have to sign in and out of my phone will be arriving. It has to be good weather since the extreme cold makes it hard for me to breathe. Through all of that I have to MAKE myself do it because things come up, I get tired after a long day working with the kids, not feeling well because of sickness that the kids bring in, etc...I can always come up with excuses NOT to workout. 

I LOVE the results I get from running. Since I started running last June I have seen real change in my body. Not so much on the scale but in my clothes and in my face. Running helps my body be regular. I know that may sound gross to some, but that is just how it is. When I am NOT running I am more likely to be irregular. And I feel that being regular helps get the weight off instead of it staying on my body. I have a little ways to go when it comes to the size clothes I want to wear but at the same time, I feel wonderful about the clothes I am wearing. I went from a size 14 jeans and XL or L shirts to size 10 jeans and M tops and dresses. That is a BIG difference. And my face looks a lot different than it did just a year ago. 

I HATE how I have to fight my thoughts as I am running so that I keep on running instead of quitting. When I start out running I have to tell myself over and over again "I love running" and "I can do this". Because if I let my mind go elsewhere it will tell me "Maybe you can only make it one mile today" or "This is just too hard. You have eaten terrible this week so you just don't have it in you to make it three whole miles." But if I keep my thoughts held captive I can run my three miles and feel awesome afterwards. 

I LOVE how running releases all sorts of stresses and frustrations. Everyone's life has stress in it. Mine is no exception. Running helps those things seem a little less major than they did before my run. It is hard to be stressed or mad after a great run. It puts things into perspective. Plus, when I run I listen to praise and worship music. I spend time talking to the Lord through the songs I am listening to. That helps make all the stress and other mess go away. 

Do you see what I mean about love/hate? I often wonder if other runners feel that way, too. Do you? Despite the fact that I love AND hate running, I will keep running as long as I am able. My reasons are all the things I LOVE about running. They far outweigh the things I HATE.  

Changing my life one day at a time. 

Hot Chocolate 5K 2013 - My First 5K

Today was a HUGE milestone for me. Not because I haven't run 3.1 miles before but because I have never run in a race before willingly. I have mentioned getting out of P.E. in school because I didn't want to run laps. That was me thirty years ago. Last year at this time I wasn't even considering running. I was just trying to get up and do a 20 minute workout video three times a week to get the weight off.  I wanted to blog about today while it was still fresh in my mind because of the feelings I experienced.

I had a really hard time sleeping last night. I suppose the excitement was just too much. I set my alarm for 5:30 because I didn't think I could get myself up any earlier but I was out of bed by 5:15. I knew I would not eat or drink anything before the race so I didn't have to worry about time for those things. The race officials suggested we arrive by 6. We should have left at 5:30 but it was hard getting my son out of bed that early since he likes to stay up late. Note for next year and other races: leave earlier. We were right before the exit when traffic came to a stand still. We reached that point around 6:15. Traffic was only moving a short distance at a time. When we finally got up to our exit the police had blocked it off. We headed to the next one but it was blocked off, too. Before we got to an exit that was open we came close, and I mean CLOSE to hitting a car in front of us. John was able to swerve and miss it by a hair. It scared me so badly because it's truly a miracle that we didn't crash our new Jeep and miss the race completely. We didn't get into the parking lot until 7:15 and then we had to walk what seemed like an entire mile to get where we gathered for the race. The race was supposed to start at 7:30 but I think they understood how backed up the traffic was and gave us a few minutes longer. They did allow late arrives to get in the last heap of runners.

Once I was surrounded by all the other runners the excitement started coming back. (The near death experience kind of put a damper on things.) It was pretty cold but I knew I wouldn't be comfortable wearing the hoodie that they gave us. I made sure my ears were covered up so they wouldn't hurt. I warmed up pretty quickly once I was running. I was actually comfortable once I was in the corral. Once again, I think that was due to the excitement. I was in the next to last group to run so I stood and talked to a few ladies while we were waiting. That is always fun for me. I love getting to meet new people.

When we reached the start line and begin to run I was excited but trying not to run over people or get run over myself. I was in a group with a lot of walkers even though it said no walkers. I didn't feel strange about going around people and even getting on the curb to go around like I saw other people doing. I had to do that often. I thought I might have to stop often to get a drink or walk but after I had run the first mile and found out I did it in 12 minutes (over a minute faster than I had been running) that pushed me forward to keep going without quitting. The more I ran the more I wanted to run. There was an up hill overpass that was challenging but instead of getting slower I pushed myself to go faster up that hill. I did slow to a walk two or three times for only about five seconds to take a drink but never considered walking any part of the race.

When I finally went under the finish line I had a huge smile on my face. I was looking for my husband and son but they were farther up waiting for me. I saw them before they saw me. They were such great sports because they were freezing cold while I had been running and didn't feel the cold anymore. That is why they are going to run WITH me next year instead of standing on the sidelines. 

After the race they gave out mugs with hot cocoa and fondue. The chocolate was wonderful! I made a big mess with it but it was scrumptious anyway. I think that was one of the neatest parts of this race, the free hoodie and the chocolate afterwards. It was a fun race.

Now I am looking into running my next race. I am actually trying to plan my runs for the whole year. I know that I have to make a plan or I will be tempted to quit. But I can SEE the changes in myself and my body in the last year. And I am excited to see what I can do this year and what changes I will have made. Looking back gives a person perspective and vision for the future. If I can train and over come asthma related issues that have kept me from running in the past then I can keep training and make some longer strides towards bigger goals. My next goal really is just to keep improving my time in the 5K. I am not sure I will want to run the 15K in this race next year but who knows. Maybe by 2015 a 15K will be something I will be ready for. One thing I want to make sure of is that every race I run has either a fun theme like this one or is a good cause. I don't want to just run a race to run it. I want the race to mean something to me.

My Time

37 min 34 sec

Pace	Overall	Age Group	Sex
12 min 06 sec	3285	184 of 429	2317 of 4732

I can't wait for the next adventure in a healthy lifestyle. Share with me your adventures on the road to health. 

Changing my life, one day at a time. 

A Look Back At Some Questions

I intended to blog about a different subject today but that is going to have to take a back seat to another post that came to mind as I look at what I blogged about last year, which wasn't much. I found very little time to blog on any of my blogs last year and I feel terrible about that. Those blogs are all important to me. For 2013 I intend to make an effort to blog at least once a month on each blog. We will see how that goes.

On January 26 of last year I wrote a blog post titled Questions, Questions, So Many Questions. I had some pretty hard questions and I desired answers so badly. And while at the time of that post I didn't have any answers, I did have a Savior who's arms I ran into and felt safe and sure that HE knew all the answers and would show them to me in His time. I am so thankful for that. 

As I read back over the post I remember the anxiety I felt at first when I was writing it but then I also remember the calm that washed over me as I heard His voice whisper to me: 

"Be still and know that I AM God. Be patient and wait upon the ME. MY timing is perfect. I know the plans I have for you, good plans."

Did my questions get answered right away? Not at all. But all of those questions were answered loud and clear. Let me share them with you.

The questions we had about the doors closing for overseas were answered by a process of happenings. First out apartment church changed locations. Another group was moved to our old one and we joined our team at another location that they had been teaching for years at a different time. We went there for many months on Sunday's. Then someone donated a church building to Mission Arlington. We moved our very large congregation into that building in August of 2012. We not only meet on Sunday mornings but on Wednesday nights, too. John started teaching ESL on Monday nights there in September. We have a very large congregation. This was God's answer to why the doors closed to going overseas. It took a year for us to understand His plan but it was His timing, not ours. 

I am a very impatient person. I want things now and I want answers now. God doesn't work that way. But He continues to try to teach me the lesson of HIS timing not mine through every aspect of my life. Maybe one day I will actually get it.

I started working on remodeling the daycare during the late summer to fall of 2011. It was great in a way because we started from almost scratch since we had sold so much the year before when we were preparing to go overseas to live as cross cultural workers drilling water wells for people in need. I got to do some of the things with my preschool that I didn't do before, like a special reading area for the kids. It takes a LOT of time to get a daycare started up, even if you have done it for years and years. There is still a process to go through. All through that process I did everything I could to prepare. But when I was actually OPEN and no kids were here yet, it was a big let down for me. Satan uses moments like that to get me and make me doubt. I doubted the reasons for reopening. I thought maybe that wasn't what God wanted me to do, that I had heard Him wrong.

That didn't mean I stopped working on things. I found a great place to get a FREE website and worked on that for awhile until I could afford to purchase it and get my own web address. It is a really well done website and I am proud of the work I have put into it. I continue to update it monthly. I worked hours on finding ways to get my name out there and still continue to put time into that when needed.

Little by little, the kids came. John and I started talking seriously about him leaving his job and working with me when we had enough income for him to do it. It seemed more like a dream than a reality. But as May approached and we had several children in our care then it seemed possible. He came home from work one day and told me he had put in his two weeks notice. I almost fainted. The beginning of June was the beginning of a new adventure for our family. He started working full time at home. It took some adjustment and we are still adjusting in many ways.

As the summer passed in a blaze of busyness and fall approached we became focused on filling the remainder of our spots. It wasn't long before that happened. We have been able to pay off much of our debt and even make a few new purchases. In October we were able to buy a Jeep. It is really John's Jeep but we enjoy it as a family. We spend family time together on the weekends because we work hard at home all week long. It is so worth every minute. Our family is together and we are getting the bills paid without my husband spending 80 plus hours away from home.

My advice to you if you have questions about your life and your future is simple. Be still and know that He is God. Give it to Him and let Him show you the timing. Keep working towards the goals because those things must be done. Keep your eye on Him. His timing is perfect.

I can't wait to see all that He does in our lives in this new year. Do I still have questions? If you know me, you KNOW I do. I have lots of them. But after the amazing ride this last year has been I am looking forward to seeing how God shows me the answers instead of being uneasy about things. May God bless you all in the new year with peace that passes all understanding. That is a great gift to be given. 

Until next time...blessings to you. 

One Year Progress Report

It has almost been one year since I decided I was NOT going to keep gaining weight and I was going to loose weight. I went to a movie at the same time last year as I did this year and have pictures on both days. This morning I looked at both pictures side by side and saw a huge difference. I wanted to share it with everyone but also wanted to have it on here to look at for encouragement to keep on going. 

       

In the past year I have lost 23 pounds. WOW In the first picture I was wearing size 14 jeans and in the second picture I am wearing size 10 jeans. I still have a ways to go but I feel so great to have done what I did this past year. I've done many different things as far as exercise and food. I've done different workout videos, treadmill running and outside running. I have been making very healthy smoothies each morning for breakfast. I have been doing Weight Watchers regularly since June. I am planning to stay on Weight Watchers the rest of my life, hoping to be a Lifetimer by this time next year. 

I showed my family the before and after pictures and they told me how proud they were of me and how I had done such a great job. WOW! That made my day. I had tears in my eyes as I looked at the difference. I feel so much better about myself. It has taken me a long time to do it but I have been making lifestyle changes each day. It is my hope that these will help me keep from gaining it back and help me loose the rest. 

Changing my life one day at a time.

Desires Of Your Heart

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Do you know the verse? What do you think it means? What has it come to mean to you? I would love to share the insight the Lord gave me this morning on my daily run in the park. I have said many times that running has never been my thing. Whenever anyone mentioned running my automatic response has always been "I can't run". I honestly believed I couldn't. I was terrible at it in school and never realized that I could take it slowly and get better at it or even want to run.

Here is where this verse comes in. The Lord has created in me a desire to run. He has shown me that it is something I want to do and can get better at. Eleven weeks ago, God placed a new desire in my heart. It started as a little glimmer of an idea from a friend who said she was going to run in a 5K in February. All of a sudden, it sounded like an awesome idea. I wanted to do that. I looked up the Couch to 5K and found a treadmill version. I spend the next 9 weeks running on that treadmill at the pace they set forth for each of the three days a week. I even added a day or two each week from time to time. I didn't JUST run the three days a week that I had to on the plan but I even chose to run MORE than required. ME. Running. WOW! 

I have to say that running outside has really changed things in another way. I don't just want to run because it is what I am supposed to do because I signed up for the 5K already. It is something I get up extra early to do and even WANT to do. I have even added to the amount of time and distance that I am running. I use a new app that helps me keep up with it and I push myself because I know I can do it and feel wonderful afterwards. I have been running outside for two weeks now. 

Can I picture myself running a 10K? Before today, I couldn't. But since I ran 4 miles today, who says I can't up that and actually run 6 miles at some point? I CAN do it! I know if I keep running each week and increase my time little by little I can also add to my distance in the hour that I have to run. It has become a desire of my heart. 

As I was running this morning, a joy filled my heart as I listened to my worship music (I spend my run time worshiping the Lord every step of the way). I realized that HE put the joy in my heart to run, the desire. And I realized that when I decide ahead of time what I am going to do, I do it. On Wednesday, I decided before my run that I would run the whole 3 miles without stopping. Today, I decided before my run that I could run the extra two laps and run the 4 miles. I didn't let myself quit because I made the choice before I got out there. I even got up five minutes earlier so I would have extra time to run if I ran at a slower pace. I actually ran at a faster pace than the other times so I was able to complete the 4 miles in under an hour. 

It is my desire to become stronger and healthier so I can live a longer and better life with my family. I have changed the way I eat and changed the way I move. I am making small but long term changes in the way I live and how my body looks. I can't wait to get to the weight I am going to stay at. But that will not be the end of the road on this running journey. It will only be the beginning. Thanks for coming along on the ride with me and cheering me on. It means a lot. 

Changing my life, one day at a time. 

First Day of School 2012

We started back to school on September 4 after a wonderful family getaway with a group from church. It was great to get away before we started back full force. Our curriculum has not changed for the new school year. We LOVE the stuff we have used the last two years and plan on using it through High School. The kids will be doing school pictures later this week but we managed to get in the "first day of school" picture on the second day of school. 

We got the kids new laptops this year so that they can look up the things our curriculum tells them to but they can do it at the table with me and we can share the information learned right then. Also, I wanted them to be able to do their math (they have a video at the beginning of each lesson) when they were ready and not have to wait for someone to get off the computer. So far, so good. We have been able to do many things for school on them and they enjoy using them in their free time, as well. 

We started reading through the Little House books and are almost finished with book two, Farmer Boy. We have some great books that we will be reading this school year and I look forward to sharing them with you. 

That is our progress report for today. Thanks for stopping by.

Couch to 5K Update

I thought I should update my progress since I started my Couch to 5K treadmill workout ten weeks ago. The workout itself was a nine week program. I was able to work up to running for 3 miles by week 9. The time it took for my workout was 50 minutes with 5 minute warm up and cool down, so 40 minutes of running. After I completed that, a friend recommended that I run outside if I was going to run in a 5K race since running outside is so different. I really didn't understand how it could be so different.

Running outside is VERY different than running on a treadmill. 

My usual running days are Monday, Wednesday and Friday (with an added run in the evenings one or two nights a week if I feel up to it). But we went on a family getaway for the Labor Day weekend and returned on Monday afternoon. We didn't get up and run (I didn't anyway) because I didn't bring running clothes. But I did spend an hour in the pool two days in a row and did exercises while I was swimming. We also went for walks most days. I took my little blender and made my breakfast smoothies instead of eating the wonderful smelling pancakes they made each morning. I did eat candy that weekend which is why I only lost .2 pounds this week. But I did loose thanks to the small things I did and the running I did when I got home.  

We have figured out that in order to get our run in and be back home for the first daycare kids to arrive at 7 I have to get up before 6 a.m. and head out as quickly as possible. Those who KNOW me KNOW I am not an early riser. I am usually a night owl. But I have had to change that in order to make my life work and not be running on empty (and I mean that figuratively not literally). But you also have to remember what I said about NOT being a runner either. So this is totally out of character for me. But it is becoming me. 

This week we ran Tuesday and Thursday mornings. My husband figured out approximately how many laps around the park it is for one mile. I have to run eight laps to reach three miles. I have not been able to run the whole eight laps yet without walking but I do keep going and start running again as soon as I can make myself. I usually run the whole first and last laps with minimal walking on the other six. It is my hope that I can run the whole things in a few weeks and even run more laps in the hour I have to run each day. 

I am thirty-six pounds away from my goal weight now (I had about 56 pounds to loose when I started this blog last December). Some important dates ahead are goals for major accomplishment. There are eleven and a half weeks until my birthday, twenty-one weeks until the Hot Chocolate 5K and twenty-eight weeks until my 30th wedding anniversary. I am doing well with my Weight Watchers. I have lost weight each week since I got serious about it. My goal is to become a "Lifetimer" and not have to pay to weigh in each month but to have that accountability that I so need. I need to keep it in front of my mind so that I won't go down this road again and have to take the weight off AGAIN!   

I will measure again at the end of the nine weeks of outside running, which is in eight weeks. It is my hope that I will be down another jean size! I was in a size 14 when I started this blog. I am now in size 10's. That alone makes me smile. I have lost 10 inches so far. At the end of the eight weeks I think my reward for completing it will be to buy myself some new running clothes and shoes. I have walking shoes and would love a nice pair of running shoes. I think that is a good goal reward. 

Changing my life, one day at a time.