When God Closes A Door

What do you do when God closes a door? What feelings run through your mind? While I have had many times where God has closed a door, there was one time that stands out more than all the others. I believe that we should learn from our life experiences and grow from them. So, as I celebrate my 50th birthday I want to look back over a period of time where I struggled and grew the most in my faith. I want to share that with you so that you can know you are not alone. The struggles are real. We all have them. 

In 2009, we changed churches. We had been members of a different church for over 22 years so it was not an easy thing to do. But we felt God was closing that door and opening a new one. We joined First Baptist Church of Arlington. We had been working with a ministry that is connected to that church for the past decade and a half, Mission Arlington. It seemed right. They are very missions oriented and had great programs for the kids. It has been a huge blessing to our family. The younger two kids have grown up in this church and are now in high school and the leadership in the preschool, children and youth has been the same since we joined. The pastor has been here for over a decade, too. And he just leads the flock with such love and compassion. 

In 2010, we had some HUGE ups and downs. We struggled with our teen through some difficult years, this one bringing it all to a head. We struggled financially and lost some land in Colorado and a vehicle. In January we began mission training. At the end of the 5 months of Perspectives training we both felt called to missions in a different country full time. In the fall we started a more in-depth mission training, Panorama, to prepare us for the full time commitment to missions abroad. The two kids had their own training as we did ours. We felt they needed to be prepared, too, so they came up with teachers to work with them. It was great. We also got involved with ministry that does low cost water well drilling. John felt that this what the type of work God wanted him to do. 

In 2011, we started part two of the Panorama missions training. We touched on some deep subjects. We also went through some testing through the counseling center that everyone who goes into the field through our church must go through. We did a week long training with Water for All, the water drilling ministry. That was really great. We were asked to go to Kenya with another group that summer for 3 weeks. John was to do water well drilling there, teaching them how to do it. Our two younger children went with us. They were a part of all our missions training. They even sat in the back of the room of our Perspectives classes. The trip to Kenya was a once in a lifetime experience for all of us. But my son really didn't want to do that full time and he was quick to tell us. He didn't want to move away from our home and our church. Our daughter didn't voice it, but she probably felt the same way. 

After ALL of that training and experience, the doors SLAMMED shut. We were told they would NOT send us. Here is one of the hard parts for me. It was because of me. In the testing it revealed that I need people too much. I made friends while I was in Kenya. I feel like I would have done OK because my needing people would have just drawn me to these people in whatever place we lived. But it didn't matter about our trip to Kenya. It didn't matter that the kids did well. It didn't matter that John really enjoyed his time there teaching them how to drill. 

I was hurt, mad, and upset. I even became very bitter. Other people were being sent. We planned on making this a lifetime commitment. A couple who had done the water drilling training at the same time were sent to another country in Africa. They have been there all this time. They now have foster adopted 2 children and are expecting one of their own. I was so confused as to why God closed the doors. Every time they would announce in church that they needed people willing to go, my mind would scream inside "WE WERE WILLING AND YOU SAID NO!!!" It hurt for so long. I did my best to pretend it didn't matter that the doors just shut. But it did matter. 

I honestly can't remember when those feelings stopped. But they did. I no longer feel angry or bitter. And I look back at the training and the mission trip that the 4 of us did together and I am so thankful. We have life lessons and experiences that we would not have had otherwise. We have friendships from those trainings and from the trip. I would NOT trade that for anything. 

The following year God took our apartment ministry church through Mission Arlington and moved it into an actual church building. Our congregation tripled in number. We began meeting not only on Sunday mornings at 11 but also on Wednesday nights. John now is a part of a worship team on both of those days. He also teaches the older kids in Bible study both days. He has done ESL classes, too. Our church there is all Hispanic. Most are from Mexico. So in a way, God is using us to reach people from a different country, just not in that actual country. John hasn't been able to do any more water drilling but you never know what God has planned for the lessons He teaches you. 

In the years that have followed the relationship with my oldest daughter has grown by leaps and bounds. It was in a very precarious place at the time. That is something I would not have had IF we had moved overseas like we thought we were supposed to. We would not have been here for our granddaughter's birth and first year of life. Our other son would not have gotten to know his sweet girlfriend and fallen in love with her. Our youngest would not have found her love for dance and been a part of this wonderful dance school for the past 3 years. I would not have reopened my preschool and had the wonderful children and families that have been a part of it in our lives. I would not have found a love for fitness and become a Beachbody coach. 

I know that God has MORE for me. The years to come are exciting to think about. God KNOWS His plans for me, even when I don't. HE KNOWS when to close the doors even when I am confused and hurt because of it. HE has great plans for my life. I just need to allow HIM to direct my path and change it when needed. As one of my friends says "Jesus is big y'all!" He really is. He has walked me through this journey for the past 50 years and He isn't going to leave me now. 

I tell you all this not to have you feel sorry for me or to judge me for my anger. But to be real with you. Feeling anger and disappointment is a very human thing. God understands. You just have to take it to Him and He will help you deal with it. I cried out to him many, many times. But I hung on to the hurt for longer than I should have. I was angry at people for deciding my future. When really, God decided it. He KNEW what He had for me that was so rich and worthwhile. So many blessings He bestowed upon me since that time. I am so thankful!!! 

When God closes a door, stop and think. Remember He has great plans for you. Then ask Him to show you what they are. He may not show you everything right away. But He will give you glimpses. You can chose to see good in things or the bad in them. Life is much better if you can find the good in each situation. Hang on to those good things. And let God handle the bad ones. Take it all to Him.

Until next time...blessings to you. 

Our Mission Church: Fuller Street Fellowship

This is our mission church, Fuller Street Fellowship. We started out in an apartment but someone donated this church building, a mission house and a house, since fall of 2012. We now meet here each week, three times a week. The mission house in the middle is used by visiting missionaries. The house on the end is used by the family we have served with for the past 7 years. 

Behind all three buildings is a large play area. We have fellowships out there but the kids also go outside after the lesson when the adults aren't finished yet. The whole thing is fenced off. 

The little girl in the picture has been a part of our mission church since she was about 18 months old. Many of the families from the old apartment church followed us to our church building. It is great to have old families and new families joined together to worship the Lord and learn more about Him. 

This is a view of the mission house and the other house. As you can see, the fence goes around the whole property. 

This is the inside of the big room in the church. We sing songs in Spanish and then the children go into separate rooms for Bible study and then outside to play. 

The younger elementary and older preschoolers go in one room. (There are rooms for the even younger children, too. On Wednesday nights there are more families that come so the amount of children and rooms needed is larger.) Our other co-teacher, Mr. Ed teaches that group. 

John and I are in the room with the older elementary kids. Sometimes we stay in and do puzzles and color but most of the time they kids like to go outside after we are done with the story. 

On Monday nights there is an ESL class that John teaches. It is a big class and they are enjoying it a lot. Jennifer goes and helps with the kids.  

Doors of Opportunity

The beginning of a new year holds so many adventures. Of course there will be hardships and downs to go along with the ups in our lives. But I choose to see the glass half full. I choose to see the positive things that come along and not dwell on the negative. So what positive things are presenting themselves as possibilities for 2011? I can't wait to tell you.

We are finishing up our Intro to Panorama this month. The holiday busyness got in the way of our finishing in December. We are meeting with the Direct Mission Sending Council in a couple of weeks to make the transition from the inquirer stage to candidate stage. We start the Advanced Panorama in February and should be finishing it up in June or early July.  We will be working on building our advocacy teams and prayer support teams. We will also need to begin working on financial support during the next several months and beyond.

We will be going to San Angelo, Texas in March for a week long training with Water for All International. At first we thought John was going alone but they asked me to go as well. I am really excited to be included. It makes sense that we get to know each other because it will be a team effort for our family, not just John.

John has been searching the Internet for sources on making parts of the well on his own, like the pump. He is learning the many different ways you can make them. He has made a few different models in the garage. Jonathan has been quick to volunteer to try them out and pump the water out of buckets.

The Water for Christ team has a couple of people going to Niger this month to do some ground work in that area. They want to see what they are dealing with and how they need to go about gathering the resources needed for the wells there. Then they will make plans to go back over there in teams to drill some wells.

We may have the opportunity to go with Water for All International to Bolivia for part of the summer to work with them drilling wells there. They have asked us to be a part of that if we are able. Right now I don't see the provision for our bills and the trip. But we trust that if God wants us to do this, HE will keep the doors open and provide the provisions we need to do it. We would be thrilled to have the chance to go for whatever length of time provision is provided for. They will be there from June through August.

A few months ago we started a monthly prayer meeting in our home for The Water for Christ ministry. We hold that every third Thursday of the month. Anyone is welcome to join us that wants to be a part of praying for this water drilling ministry.

John and I are working on building prayer teams. That is going to be one of our main goals in the months to follow. Those teams are something we will continue to build all throughout our ministry. If you would like to be a part of that, please join us. There is nothing like prayer. We will keep in contact with the lead person of each team and allow them to share the information with the others. We would like for those teams to share their prayer concerns with us so that we can pray for them, too. At the bottom of this post, on our newsletters and on our Partner With Us page you will find a list of updated prayer needs. Please continue to lift those up. --Terri

     Just for fun: Jonathan staged this pose the day they were out drilling.

Specific Prayer Request

• Pray a hedge of protection around each of us. Spiritual warfare is very real.
• Pray for financial provision on upcoming training and mission trips throughout the year.
• Pray that all debt (car debt, student loans & medical bills) are able to be paid off quickly. The sell of the land would take care of a great deal.
• Pray for provisions for downsizing our income again as John plans to move into a day position that is a lot less pay.
• Pray for our 23 year old daughter as she continues to seek God's direction for her life.
• Pray for our 18 year old son that he will find a way to be self sufficient.
• Pray for our younger two children, ages 11 and 9, as they also prepare to serve with us.